Memoir in the Making: A May-December Romance Read online

  She’d been drunk in front of her new professor in the first week of school. The rest of her year was going to be hell when it came to looking at Meredith and having any respect in Meredith’s eyes. Grinding her teeth, Ainsley clenched her fists and stared at the door. She would have to go out there at some point. She clearly wasn’t the first one awake in the house, which meant she would even have to talk with Meredith before leaving.

  Letting out a single sob, Ainsley turned back on her side and pulled the covers up and over her body again. Maybe she could sleep off the rest of her hangover and then not have to deal with Meredith for a few more hours. Closing her eyes, she tried her hardest to fall back into a deep slumber.

  The door to the room creaked open, and bare feet slid across the hardwood. Meredith reached over and pressed a hand to Ainsley’s shoulder, rousing her from what should have been sleep. “It’s late,” Meredith said.

  Ainsley nodded and looked at the clock on the nightstand for the first time since opening her eyes. It read eleven o’ seven. Shit, she thought. She had certainly overstayed her welcome at the house, and that was why Meredith was waking her up.

  “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Do you need anything? More water? Aspirin?”

  Ainsley looked up into Meredith’s blue-green pale eyes and drew in a sharp breath. What she really wanted was a toothbrush and toothpaste. But that meant getting up and going to the bathroom. With that thought, her bladder reminded her just how full it was.

  “Bathroom—I’d love to brush my teeth,” Ainsley said, hoping the nasty scent of her breath didn’t waft too close to her professor.

  “Yeah. Here.”

  Meredith helped her sit up and then led her down the hallway to the bathroom. She pulled out a toothbrush still in its packaging and the toothpaste from the medicine cabinet. Meredith glanced at her one last time before exiting the bathroom and shutting the door.

  Oh thank God, Ainsley bit her tongue to prevent the whisper escaping her lips. She tugged down her jeans and sat on the toilet, peeing for what felt like ten minutes. Once she was done, she brushed her teeth and then stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like death had taken a stroll over her and then backtracked a few times.

  Ainsley left the toothbrush and toothpaste on the vanity and left the room, heading down the hallway to find Meredith, thank her, and have a long walk of shame home. Meredith was seated on her couch with a book in hand, and she looked up when Ainsley entered the room.

  “I’m really sorry,” Ainsley said. “I—I definitely overstepped my boundaries by being here.”

  “Nonsense. I tried to take you home, but I couldn’t get out of you where you lived. So…you ended up here.”

  “Oh…well, I can only hope I didn’t do or say anything too embarrassing.”

  Meredith’s jaw clenched, and her lips thinned into a line. Ainsley’s stomach plummeted even further than it already had, and she dropped onto the couch next to Meredith. Running her hands over her face, she took a few deep breaths, wishing she hadn’t seen that reaction.

  “What did I do?”

  “Nothing of particular interest,” Meredith answered.

  Ainsley turned and glared at her, sure she had done something to set Meredith on the defense. Instead of a good start to the school year, it was turning out to be the worst yet. Ainsley shook her head and looked back over.

  “I’m sorry for whatever I did. You don’t need drama in your life.”

  Meredith snorted. Ainsley gave her a sharp look as Meredith put a hand over her mouth and giggled again. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to figure out exactly what Meredith was laughing at, but she couldn’t. Giving up, Ainsley leaned back on the couch, feeling far better than she had ten minutes ago.

  “Don’t worry about drama,” Meredith said. “Take it with a grain of salt. Sometimes it’s exciting to have a bit of change in your life. Not all of us run around without stopping, so sometimes it’s nice to have a bit of an interruption. It’s really nothing.”

  “Uh huh, sure.”

  “Ainsley,” Meredith said and reached over, touching Ainsley’s arm briefly before pulling it back like she’d touched something hot. “It’s really nothing. I promise. I’ll take you home whenever you want now that you’re awake and sober enough to tell me where you live.”

  Rolling her eyes, Ainsley looked at the door across the room. The house was certainly nicer than her condo she shared with two other girls. It was calm and quiet, sophisticated even. There was no television. Ainsley searched for it as much as she could without moving but found no hidden shelves where it could be.

  “You don’t have a TV.”

  “I find it’s easier to get work done without it.”

  Ainsley gaped at Meredith, not believing she could live without one. The sound she had heard earlier came from a small radio on the shelf on the far wall of the room. Meredith rose and turned down the volume while Ainsley still sat stunned. No person her age would live without a television willingly, at least no one she knew.

  “I bet it is,” Ainsley mused, crossing her arms over her chest. “So what do you do all day and night then? Read?”

  “And grade papers,” Meredith answered with a twinkle in her eye.

  “Right. A real job.”

  “So much so.”

  Meredith moved back to the couch and sat down, shuffling the book she had been reading to the end table. She stretched an arm along the top of the couch, her fingers close enough to brush Ainsley’s shoulder if she moved in just a little bit closer. Resisting the urge, Ainsley stayed put and looked out the window again.

  “You let me sleep in,” she commented.

  “I did. You weren’t easy to wake. I tried a few times.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah, quite a few actually. You managed to drink a bit of water though.”

  “Huh. I don’t remember any of that.”

  “Didn’t expect you to. You were pretty intoxicated last night.”

  “Yeah…” Ainsley stopped talking, unsure of how much information she should give away. Figuring there wouldn’t be any harm in it, she continued, “I got mad at my best friend.”

  “So you decided to drink yourself into a stupor?”

  Ainsley narrowed her eyes in Meredith’s direction. “It was the best option at the time.”

  “I’m sure it was,” Meredith answered, sarcasm dripping from each word. “You couldn’t just walk out, leave and cool down. You couldn’t have called another friend to come get you and let it sit for a while before responding to it. You couldn’t have simply ignored the anger until something better came along.”

  “You’re cranky in the morning.”

  Meredith’s mouth opened and closed several times before she shut it tight. “I apologize,” she said after a few seconds. “Over my boundaries. What I meant is, it wasn’t your only option. It was the easiest one—now you’ve learned from it.”

  “Not really.”

  “Then perhaps next time.” Meredith moved to get up but sat back down when Ainsley spoke.

  “I don’t really have any other friends to call.” At the look on Meredith’s face, she amended her statement. “Not really ones I trust enough to come pick me up. Besides they were all at the party anyway. We were all drunk off our asses, so no one should have been driving me home.”

  “All right,” Meredith said.

  “You can drive me home now if you want.”

  Ainsley looked Meredith up and down, realizing for the first time her professor was in nothing other than a terrycloth robe that only came up to her thighs and her hair was wet and strung down her back. Her stomach flopped but for an entirely different reason than it had before, and she felt a surge of heat in her core. Yeah…I should have stayed in bed longer, she thought.

  “Let me get dressed. You were in my room—”

  Ainsley nodded but was thinking something else entirely. Her head no longer hurt and her stomach didn’t feel nauseous anymore. All s
he could think about was Meredith stripping off the terry cloth robe and prancing around her bedroom naked, the bedroom Ainsley had just been sleeping in. As soon as Meredith was out of her line of sight, she closed her eyes and groaned, wishing the image stuck in her head away.

  #

  The phone was pressed to her ear as soon as she was a block away from Ainsley’s house. It rang twice before a groggy voice picked up.

  “Hello?”

  “Sam! I need tea. Let’s get tea. I really need some tea.”

  “Mer? It’s—shit, it’s late.”

  “Yes. Can you get tea?”

  He groaned into the phone, and she took a left toward their regular coffee stop in anticipation of his attendance. She was about three blocks away when she realized Sam hadn’t said anything for a few minutes.

  “Sam? Tea?”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.”

  “I would hope not,” she teased.

  “Har har,” he answered. “Let me get dressed and ready. Nurse is already here.”

  “Nurse?”

  “For Jeremy.”

  “That bad?”

  “Worse. I’ll tell you when I get there.”

  “Okay. See you soon!” Meredith hung up the phone and pulled into the coffee shop. Parking her car, she got out and went in, barely remembering to grab her purse. The kiss still lingered in her mind, making her lips tingle if she thought about it too long. Letting out a breath and hoping it would cleanse her brain, Meredith got in line and waited a few minutes for them to be ready for her.

  “I’ll take a passion fruit tea with steamed apple juice, medium please. And a drip coffee, black, the biggest size you have.”

  She paid her total and walked over to find the comfiest chair in the building already taken. Making her way around to a table in front of the window, Meredith sat down and waited for her drinks to be ready. She twiddled her thumbs as thoughts ran through her like water.

  Ainsley had kissed her, and while she’d jerked back in shock, it hadn’t been because she hadn’t enjoyed the kiss. Closing her eyes and sighing, Meredith focused on Ainsley and exactly what it was she felt for the young woman. It wasn’t hatred for sure; she was intrigued by the sense of independence and maturity she rarely found in students.

  Ainsley had a presence about her that pulled Meredith in. Meredith couldn’t stop touching her arm. She’d tried on several occasions, but the need to touch her was so deeply embedded she couldn’t stop. Meredith’s name echoed in the coffee shop, and Meredith got up to get her drink with a blush on her cheeks. She’d been thinking about a lot more than just touching Ainsley’s arm, and after Ainsley’s reaction that morning when they were on the couch, she was positive Ainsley was thinking about it too.

  Sitting down again and taking a sip of her tea and setting Sam’s coffee in the center of the table, Meredith pondered the touch again before wishing she could just get her mind out of the bucket and focus on something else for a little while. It was as though she’d gone back to high school and couldn’t control her emotions anymore.

  The kiss on her cheek startled her. Meredith jerked and turned around to see Sam standing behind her with a grin on his face.

  “Oh! It’s just you,” Meredith said.

  “Who else would it be? Oh! Coffee. Yes…heaven in a cup.” He picked up his cup and sniffed at the drink before sucking down a good gulp or two.

  “Yeah…” Meredith trailed off, thoughts of Ainsley invading her again. She shook her head and looked Sam straight on. “I have a problem.”

  “Oh?”

  “There’s a student…who has a crush on me.”

  “How is that a problem? It’s not like you haven’t dealt with crushes from students before.” He was drinking again, staring at her.

  Meredith was uneasy talking about the situation in the public sphere of a coffee shop only a few blocks from campus. Students were bound to come in and overhear. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

  “The problem is said student kissed me.”

  “Wha—?”

  Meredith nodded and took a slow drink from her cup, savoring the heat.

  “When? How? You can’t just say that and not say anything else. Mer, come on. Give a man a break here and give me the goodies.”

  “Last night. She was drunk.”

  “And you were with her why?”

  Narrowing her eyes, Meredith said, “I found her walking home, drunk, by herself, and I couldn’t just let her get mugged or something worse.”

  “She could have been perfectly safe.”

  “Or not. It’s different for women. Just accept that. You don’t walk home at night by yourself, and you definitely don’t do it while drunk.”

  “Okay…okay…” Sam raised his hands in the air in a truce. “So you picked her up and took her back to…her place? Please, say her place.”

  She shook her head. “She couldn’t tell me where she lived. She was that drunk.”

  “God. Students—they need to learn some resistance.”

  “Well, that’s a different story. But she kissed me last night. Admitted she liked me, basically, and then kissed me.”

  “What did you do?”

  “Stopped it!” she hissed. “What do you think I did?”

  “I don’t know. It’s been years since you’ve been in any type of committed relationship. And I think, by my count, it’s been quite a few months since you’ve snogged anyone, much less a pretty girl.”

  “It’s Ainsley.”

  “It’s—what!? You and Ainsley?”

  “Shhh.” Meredith looked around the coffee shop to make sure they hadn’t attracted any unwanted attention. “Yes, Ainsley. She’s the one who I picked up drunk off the side of the road, the one who kissed me last night, and the one who I just finished driving home.”

  “She stayed the whole night?”

  Glaring at him, Meredith grabbed her drink and made to leave. “If you’re not going to help, there’s no use in talking to you.”

  “Mer! Sit down. We’ll figure this out.”

  She sat back down and spun her tea in her hand, not daring to look at him while fear and worry took over. She let out a breath and closed her eyes to hold back the tears.

  “I could get fired if anyone found out.”

  “No one will find out. Does she even remember it?”

  Meredith shook her head, her loose curls hitting her cheeks with the movement. “I don’t think so. She was pretty far gone last night.”

  “That’s to your advantage then. But you can’t, and I mean can not, let her be alone with you again.”

  “And exactly how am I supposed to do that? I have to be able to have meetings with my students about their work. I can’t just avoid her.”

  “No, but you can downplay everything. Don’t show her any type of interest, academic or personal, and don’t talk to her outside the classroom or office hours.”

  “I’ll try.”

  Meredith took another sip from her drink, really not wanting to look at Sam. If she did, she knew he would be exactly aware of how hard it would be for her to stay away from Ainsley. She was already too far in over her head and letting her attraction to Ainsley take control.

  “Oh. My. God,” he said, punctuating each word. “You like her. Meredith…you can’t. She’s a student.”

  “I’m well aware.” Heat flashed into her cheeks, and her eyes watered again. “I know. I can’t, but God, I want to.”

  “What is it about her?”

  Meredith bit her lip before answering. “She calls to me.”

  “Physical?”

  “Yeah, that too. I can’t not think about her physically when she’s anywhere near me. The thoughts bombard me.”

  “What else other than that?”

  “She makes me think. And I like that, a lot.”

  “You’ve known her not even a week.”

  “Exactly,” Meredith said and took her drink. “A week and I’ve already over stepped the line several times.”


  “Well, I’ll be around when you need to talk.”

  Meredith nodded, weariness ebbing into her body. She only had to make it through to December, and then Ainsley would be out of her class and she wouldn’t have contact with her anymore. Four very long months until she could relax again.

  “Dinner Friday?” Sam asked.

  “Yeah. Six? I can make that chicken pot pie you like and bring it over.”

  “Sounds great. I’ll let Jeremy know.”

  “The nurse?” Meredith asked, remembering the comment on the phone.

  Sam nodded and wiped the tear that slipped down his cheek. “Not much longer, I’m afraid. She’s from hospice. Comes in and checks on him every day. There’s a volunteer nurse who comes to sit with him so I can have a break.”

  “Like now.”

  “Yeah…like now.”

  Meredith reached across the table and squeezed his hand. She needed to be there for him far more than she needed him to be there for her. Jeremy truly was the love of Sam’s life. Losing him would affect them all.

  “Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Will do,” Sam said. “Gotta run.”

  He stood up and bent down to press a kiss to her cheek. Meredith watched him leave with coffee in hand and felt the tears finally stream down her own face. Sadness swept away any thoughts she had of Ainsley, and she grasped onto the emotion, riding it until she had to leave the coffee shop for home and more private place to let it all out.

  Chapter Five

  The clock ticked slower than it should have, Meredith was sure. Most of her class was still there, the ones who had shown up the first day, but Ainsley had yet to arrive. Meredith stewed in front of the students as they waited for her to start the lecture for the day. If Ainsley quit her class because of what happened, Meredith would never forgive herself.

  Rubbing her lips together, Meredith smoothed down her jacket on her pantsuit and turned to the students. She pushed all thoughts of Ainsley aside and focused on the lesson for the day. Flinging her hair behind her back, she spoke to them all, talking about the different kinds of memoir possible, and the one they would be working on specifically for their first assignment due the next week.